Hate This Place
by bookwurm96
Summary: Another band story! yay! Max works at a bar, and one day, she sees a familiar face singing on stage
1. Chapter 1

Kay… I know this is cliché, but I felt like making a story about some of my favorite songs, so bear with me, and tell me if I should even continue, please.

Cara

Hate This Place Chapter 1

MPOV

I was working an extra shift at the bar—gotta pay the bills, right?—and taking stock of my life.

_What life?_

Meet the voice. Not, as you may have notice, _the_ Voice, just the voice. Most people would call her my conscienece, but I disagree. An entity like _that_ could not possibly be of my creation, thus I reject it. Wait, wait, wait. I phrased that wrong. "I reject your reality and substitute it with my own." _There_ we go. Gotta love Mythbusters.

Anyhoo! Back to taking stock of my not-so-life-like-life. Say _that_ three times fast.

I live be myself in a cruddy apartment…more on that later. I work at a bar. Yeah. That's about it. It's very sad. (A/N: If you can name what book that last sentence came from, I will give you 10 virtual-online-air-hugs!)

Basically, I figured out the big one. The holy-snap!-how did I miss-that-should-should-of-had-a-V8 one.

I was the reason the flock was always getting hurt. I kept dragging them around on _my_ mission, and _they_ kept getting hurt.

As a result of one of my infamous snap-decision-thingies, I left them. I don't deserve them. I put them in danger all of the time. If you took me out of that situation, there would be nothing. No injuries. The flock would be safe. Fang would step up as leadr, and they'd have a leader they deserved, instead of me.

I wrote two notes to them the night that I left. The one to the Flock was the lie. It was my final gift to them, a clean break. I pretended I had a chip implanted in me that tracked our movements. They could believe that.

Fang got the truth. It's what he deserved. After seven years, I can still remember exactly what I told him.

_Fang,_

_I have to go. Who knows how many times I'm going to wish away the lies I told you guys, but, there you go. Confusion is ruling me right now, and I can't be a good leader for you guys._

_I don't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry, and… I think I love you. But I can't do this. I can't put up a charade and pretend that I know what I'm doing, when all of this time, I'm really just hurting you guys._

_I know that I'm hiding, but this is the only way to stop you guys from getting hurt on my mission. I'm sorry that I can't give you the lies that I told them. You deserved more. I'm sorry. I love you. Take care of the flock for me._

_Love, _

_Max_

I started cleaning a table, pondering the past seven years.

I didn't leave them. I would never leave them. Up until two years ago, I was destroying Itex, the school, everything, just so that they could be safe. I know some of you are probably thinking, _'Wow, she's selfless!'_ or something. Five years is a long time, but it wasn't for selfless reasons. I'm one hundred percent selfish. I couldn't see them getting hurt again, so I did what I need to to get through.

Just then, a man maybe 17 or 18 years old walked in, holding onto a big guitar case.

We get bands to play here every weekend, and this time, we decided to try some new talent, instead of the same-old, same-old.

"Where should we set up?"

I directed them where to set up, then forgot about them as I took orders for drinks and washed tables. After a while, I heard a guitar playing and decided to check out the band, see if they were any good.

I looked up at the stage and into the familiar dark chocolate eyes that I haven't seen in seven years.

"This song is dedicated to my first and only love, who I haven't seen in seven years. Yeah, Umm, here it goes."

He leaned into the mike, and started to sing.

Gone away  
Who knows where you been  
You take all your lies  
And wish them all away

I somehow doubt  
We'll ever be the same  
There's too much poison  
And confusion on your face

Can you feel it  
I didn't mean it  
Can I see you  
or what were doin  
I think I love you  
But I ain't sayin' nothin' you don't know

Hold on dream away  
You're my sweet charade

Take your time  
Move yourself to me  
Yeah I cant take your lies  
Until you fall away  
You know I'm lost  
Hiding in your bed  
No I don't think it's wrong  
It's just gone to my head

Can you feel it  
I didn't mean it  
Can I see you  
What are we doin'  
I think I love you  
But I ain't sayin' nothin' you don't know

Hold on dream away  
You're my sweet charade

Hey watcha do to me  
Would you come back to me  
Yeah I can't do another day  
I'm not certain of it anyway  
I'm not messin' with another life  
Can I get on without you  
Tell me lies  
That you  
Know I need

Hold on dream away  
You're my sweet charade

Hold on dreamaway  
You're my sweet charade

Fang… Loved me?

The last chords of the song still rung through the air, and as they faded, I melted at just the memory of the song. Cheers rang throughout the air, and I hid behind the bar, hoping that he didn't know I was there. I know, I know, hiding? I was gone for seven years, people. It's not like I can just go back and everything will be all hunky dory!


	2. Chapter 2

As the applause faded, Fang stepped up to the mike. "This next song is for Max. I hope she hears me, somehow."

And I'd give up forever to touch you,  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow.  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,  
And I don't want to go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment,  
And all I can breathe is your life,  
And sooner or later it's over,  
I just don't want to miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.

And you cant fight the tears that ain't coming,  
Or the moment of the truth in your lies.  
When everything feels like the movies,  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.

And I don't want the world to see me,  
Cause I dont think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.  
I just want you to know who I am.

By the end, I was crying. I mean, seriously! Who wouldn't have? But _no one_ had ever seen me cry in this new life of mine, so I decided that then would be the time to use the rest room.

I thought back to the other band members as I walked to the bathroom. Wait a minute… the tall one on the drums had been Iggy! But his eyes were the wrong color…

That_ must_ have been Gazzy on bass… Angel and Nudge were probably the ones switching between strings and guitars.

I locked the door behind me-conveniently forgetting the lock was broken- and sat down, sobbing.

I had gotten ten feet away from them, and that was the closest I would ever get.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. I ignored it, hoping the lock would deter any unwanted company. Or someone that wanted to go to the bathroom.

"Yes, it's empty!" came from the other side of the door. Before I could do anything, the door was shoved open and in came Fang. (A/N it's a boy/girl b-room)

"B-busy," I managed to choke out, trying to hide my face from view.

"Sorry," he said and started to turn away, indecision clear on his face. At least, for me, anyway. The slight quirk of one eyebrow is all everyone else gets. "Are you okay?" he said, and closed the door to come sit by me.

"Y-yes," I sobbed out. His mouth twitched- he was amused.

"My definition of okay does not include crying in a bathroom." He leaned in closer to me. "Oh my gosh! You're crying in a bathroom!"

"Thanks, Captain O."  
"Just doin' my job." When did Fang get a funny bone? "Hey, do I know you?"

"No," I tried to hide my face. He reached over and grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Yes I do." His brow furrowed in concentration. "Max." Not a question. A statement.

"Yes." I threw my arms around him, then kissed him. I pulled away, and, while he was still lost in the whiplash of my sudden arrival into his life, I made a sudden exit, out of the bathroom, out of his life. Or, I would have. Stupid hand, what do I need_ you_ for, anyway? My stupid hand was being held by Fang's very large one, making escape out of the question.

"Where do you think you're going?" He pulled me back down to his level and kissed me. "I love you, Max."

"No you don't," I sobbed. "You shouldn't." With that, I teleported back to my apartment, leaving my life behind.

I walked through the entryway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. Then I backtracked.

The t.v. was on. The couch was occupied.

"Why shouldn't I love you?"

"Why shouldn't I throw you out of my apartment?"

"Because you owe me." Yes, I did. Big time.

"Because I'm not worth it."

"Care to elaborate?"

"You first."

He sighed and patted the spot on the couch next to him. "Come on, I won't hurt you," he said at my hesitation. I sat. "You left me. I loved you, and you left me." He looked me straight in the eyes.

"Oh."

"For seven years, I didn't know if you were alive. I didn't know if there was any chance of seeing you ever again."


	3. Chapter 3

Okay… sorry that it's been forever, but I lost the notebook (I know, I'm old fashioned) that contained this chapter, and I've been looking for it…then I stopped…then I needed a pencil…then I went on vacation…then I came back…and there it was! Sweet!

Oh, and, by the way, the song naked isn't pervy. It's actually really sweet, and because I'm such a sop, I almost cried when I first heard it.

Naked/Name

"I'm sorry." That wouldn't even be able to _begin_ to cover it, but a journey of one thousand miles begins with one step. Your lucky numbers are 2, 6, 17, 27, and 30.

"It will be a while before I can forgive you."

"I know."

He eyed the distance between us. "You could lesson the time by scotching closer." I inched toward him. "Keep coming, keep coming…" When I got within arms reach, (for him- I wouldn't be able to reach that far) he grabbed me, and, before I could do anything about it, he sat me on his lap.

"That's better."

I grunted. It may have been better, but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that. He laughed, as if he knew what I was thinking.

"What made you join a band?"

"I _formed_ it, actually. What made you get a job at a bar?"

"You first."

"You owe me." He smirked, aware that he could get me to tell him almost anything right now.

"I was getting tired of not eating, now answer my question." He raised an eyebrow. "Please?" His mouth twitched.

"For me, it was just a wait to try to reach out to you."

"Oh-"I was going to tell him how beautiful the songs were, and how much I appreciated them, but I was interrupted by my stomach growling loudly. _You forgot supper,_ the voice said snidely, _and you don't have any money for groceries. _Shut up, voice.

He looked at my stomach. "Was that your _stomach_?" I nodded. "When was the last time you ate?"

I thought back, trying to remember. "Supper, last night." He got a sort of mad look on his face.

"Why?" I looked away, not wanting to tell him. "You owe me."

"Keep that up, I won't owe you anymore!"

"Max!"

"Fine! Okay...Ispentallofmyfoodmoneyonacomputersothaticouldfollowyourblog-andknowthatyouwerealive."

"Okay…now could you repeat that, only audibly?"

"I spent all my money."  
"On…?"

"A computer."

"For what reason?" He looked skeptical.

"So I could follow the flock by your blog."

"I stopped writing that blog."

"I know. I figured out afterwards. Turns out the computer was non-refundable. Who'd a thunk?"

He moved me onto the couch, then stood up. I looked at him questioningly, and he held out a hand to help me up. I stood up, unassisted, and he reached for my hand.

"Take us back to the bar- Iggy's making supper tonight, and I left my car at the bar."

"Take a deep breath," I warned him. I closed my eyes and jumped into the alley where we put our trash behind the bar. I made to withdraw my hand from Fang's, but he didn't let go. Or act like he noticed me pulling back my hand. Or act like teleporting was any different than walking.

"Not a first time jumper?" I had to know how he was so calm.

"Second time." Which reminds me…

"How did you get into my apartment?"

"I was holding your hand when you teleported."  
"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Then I went invisible and watched your t.v.-which has really sucky reception, by the way- until you noticed me."

"Do you have any other powers you'd care to tell me about?"

"Yup! I can fly!"

"Wow! That's amazing! I wish _I_ could fly!"

"Do you have any other new powers- besides irony and teleportation, anyway?"

I just grinned mischievously then started walking towards the parking lot. Fang took a minute, but he soon followed. (His hand attached to mine forced him to come with me.)

We were sitting in the driveway in front of an _extremely_ large, expensive looking house.

You know in those movies with the beautiful woman that starts to hyperventilate before going to sing on stage, and it turns out she had nothing to be worried about because she brought down the house with her killer singing awesomeness?

I could _so _relate to her. Well, except for the beautiful part. And the going to sing on stage. And the not having anything to worry about. Oh-and the being a great singer part. And the part about bringing down the house with my killer singing awesomeness. Apart from that, I felt exactly the same.

So, basically, we've arrived at the conclusion that I am a female older than her teens that is hyperventilating. What fun! (A/N Placing that last quote is much more difficult-100 virtual hugs to the person able to say the book and the words around it.)

"I can't do this, Fang." He looked over at me from the driver's seat, surprised.

"Do what?"

"Go in there. Meet them."

"Why not?"

"Because I left so they could have a better life. What if they don't understand that? What if they hate me? Seeing me could scar them emotionally until they're a body with jello brains that does basic functions of life, but never talks, never get to know anyone. Then, not only would I be responsible for their horrible childhoods, but I would be the cause of a vacant life of no feeling, and you should feel free to stop me any time now, Fang."

"But it's so much fun listening to you babble." He smiled, but he was giving me a 'is she crazy after all?' look. "Come on, Max. Let's go inside."

"I can't."

He took a deep breath, thinking, then blew it all out hard. "We have another gig. Come to it, and we'll see where we are after that."

"That sounds…reasonable." And it did. Plus, I would be able to watch my flock- _You're flock?_ - stupid voice- from afar. Ooh! And I could listen to the music! Yeah! Score! (mental arm actions)

"Okay. Just let me go in and tell them I'll meet them there." He walked up to the door, pausing to look back at me and smile. (A/N That made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside; one, two, three- awww!)

Fang leaned into the mike. "This song seems oddly applicable for tonight. Hope you like it."

Yeah I'm fadin'  
And I call out  
No one hears me  
Never been, never felt, never thought I'd say a word

Weighed down  
Safe now

You're naked inside your fear  
You can't take back all those years  
The shots in the dark from empty guns  
Are never heard by anyone  
Never heard by anyone

Yeah I'm hiding  
in the fallout  
Now I'm wasted  
They don't need me, don't want me, don't hear a word I say

Weighed down  
Safe now

You're naked inside your fear  
You can't take back all those years  
The shots in the dark from empty guns  
Are never heard by anyone  
Never heard by anyone

Inside your head  
No one's there  
And I don't think I'll ever be  
And I don't care

You're naked inside your fear  
You can't take back all those years  
The shots in the dark from empty guns  
Are never heard by anyone  
Never heard by anyone  
By anyone  
By anyone

He stepped back to the middle of the stage, bringing the mike with him, then set up on a stool. He talked briefly with Iggy, gave Angel a meaningful look, then said into the mike, "This is for an old friend."

He sat back and started playing his acoustic guitar. After a few measures, Iggy came in with the drums, followed by Gazzy on bass.

And even though the moment passed me by  
I still can't turn away  
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose  
Got tossed along the way  
And letters that you never meant to send  
Get lost or thrown away

And now we're grown up orphans  
That never knew their names  
We don't belong to no one  
That's a shame  
But if you could hide beside me  
Maybe for a while  
And I won't tell no one your name

And I won't tell em your name

Scars are souvenirs you never lose  
The past is never far  
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there  
Did you get to be a star  
And don't it make you sad to know that life  
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast  
And now there's nothing to believe  
And reruns all become our history  
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio  
And I won't tell no one your name  
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time  
But I don't need the same  
It's lonely where you are come back down  
And I won't tell em your name

"Hope you guys liked us- that last song was literally made up as we went."

Fang had kept eye contact with me the whole time- he had seen me crying. (A/N: I'm such a wuss, I cried first time I heard name. there you go. Me in a nut shell)

Okay. I know that was uncharacteristically long for me, so maybe people could uncharacteristically give me more reviews than normal? Plz? Come on, it was five pages on word…my fingers are cramping…ow!


End file.
